Software, hardly understood

My cat bit me on the knuckle of my thumb. It hurt real bad, but I didn't jump when it happened. Instead I just sat there and marvelled at the little thing's determination. When it had enough of my thumb, it jumped down off the couch and went into the kitchen for a drink of water. I sat and stared at my thumb, the blood beginning to form a pool at the indentations from the teeth. I'm going to need a band-aid. I did nothing, however, and turned the television on to the Cartoon Network.

An hour or so went by when I heard a banging on the front door. I looked at my watch. 2:30 A.M. Strange! I stood up and found myself standing knee deep in blood. Shit. Should have put on a band-aid! I waded to the front door, opened it, and came face to face with Marty from across the hall.

"Marty, it's late, what do you want?"

"THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE! IT'S FLOWING INTO MY APARTMENT, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?"

"What the fuck do you want me to do about it?" I asked as I slammed the door in his face, splattering blood everywhere. I turned and headed toward the couch.

"That Marty's a bitch, isn't he?" Said a voice.

"Who the helllll..." I turned. The voice had come from my cat, who was rowing a boat through the now waste high blood.

"Nice boat, cat."

"Yeah I know, look sorry about the blood and the biting you and all, but we should get out of here before the cops come."

"Ok."

I hopped into m cat's row boat and we sailed through the apartment and fell down t he waterfall that had formed outside the bathroom window. Once outside, we rowed to the bloody pond's edge and we climbed up the bank to a grassy clearing.

"Do you have any idea where you are?"

"No, cat, I haven't a clue what's going on."

"It's cool, you'll like it here."

"If you say so."

And after saying htat, the cat whistled as loud as she could and out of the woods came a pacifist Labrador Retriever named Ladybug.