Most things are bullshit

What goes around comes around. I got that tattooed around my ankle, except I had it converted into Farsi. One of the many ways I picture myself dying is by decapitation. I'm pretty sure someone is going to attack my neck with a sword, there'll be a brief skirmish, and my head will be lopped off. I think that is one of the main reasons why I love neck tattoos. I would really like to cover my neck in a scene from the book, "Where the Wild Things Are" so that way my murderer will have a hard time locating my neck. I think while he is confused, I can plan an escape, perhaps grabbing a frying pan and smacking the murderer in the head with it as hard as I can, or possibly by gathering some dynamite and blowing the murderers body apart. It sucks that I work a desk job where neck tattoos are frowned upon. If only I could be in the NBA or in a boy band.

I admire people that cover hand grenades with their bodies. They see the hand grenade land, and there is a brief instance where everybody is going to be shrapnelled to death, so one hero in the bunch makes the decision to take one for the team. They'll lay down on the grenade and do their best to smother the explosion. 9 times out of ten, only the hero gets killed. Occassionally something will go wrong, such as the hero will dive but he'll be too late or he'll miss the grenade and as a result someone else may be torn apart but that is really rare. It's not really that hard to land on top of the hand grenade if you jump at the right time. Remember when I said I picture myself dying a whole bunch of different ways? I've never pictured myself diving onto a hand grenade. It's really disappointing, because I wouldn't mind being considered a hero, but honestly, I sort of see myself throwing someone else onto it, then running like hell. I'd probably get decapitated when I got away by some angry opposing war general or possibly even my war general. "YOU COWARD" THEY'D SHOUT and they'd see past my neck tattoo and chop my friggin head off.

If I do get my head chopped off, it'd be sort of fitting that they played a quick game of football with it, before FedExing it to my parents, but something tells me that people who chop heads off really aren't interested in football. They seem like a serious bunch, who have to plot their next decapitation. It'd be neat if my neck tattoo was of a guillotine. I don't think I'll honestly ever get a neck tattoo, I just don't think I've ever blogged about a neck tattoo.

I guess this isn't a very cheery blog, but it's honestly not that bad. Does anybody else wait for trains and picture themselves jumping onto the tracks right before the train is about to start back up and go to the next train station. And telling the conductor to STTTOPPPPP! at once! Then you board the train and you look at each and every passenger to determine who has been naughty and who has been nice. You have a horse whip in your hand, and a bottle full of moonshine in the other.