Yes Mustache Songs

May I borrow your Uzi

Before you throw
boiling water into
my face please make
sure my eyes are open

And as my skin
begins to crackle and
pop don't forget
to hit record

I deserve whatever you think I deserve
Oncoming traffic, I will not swerve
And when the ambulance comes for me
Make sure you give a false address

Times were better
when I wasn't so
handsome and feeling my
veins own jealousy

It came to this
sitting in staircases
where houses once
stood before they did fall

Is this the happiest
you've ever seen me
if so are you even
sure you've ever seen me at all?



Backyard Fistfight

This is my passive aggressive way of telling you I'm sick of you, but we'll never even establish who you are even though you'll have a good idea that this is my way of saying fuck off if you even bother to listen to this at all. I don't even know why I bothered going out of my way to even try to acknowledge the situation, I'm not sure this is worth anybody's time or any of my breath. If we were ten again I'd invite you over and we'd make a fort in the backyard and eventually we'd argue about who was the cop and who was the criminal and we'd end up black and blue and bleeding from the ear. If I saw you today I'd hide behind street signs and throw bricks at your face and hope I'd smash your glasses. Then if you saw me, I'd point at the next guy and see if you'd want to get a cup of coffee. I have these ideas and I'm afraid you might hear them, but if you do hear this I hope you turn it up really loud.


Soda in a can

Is this soda good for anybody?
If it is, is it good enough for me?
and if so I'd like to share some with you
even though you probably want a beer.

Headachey next days spent walking casually
around water, the leaves changing and fall
to cover the obvious that
waits around every curve in the road.

Why'd you have to park so far away?
Why'd you have to lock your keys in the car?
You don't have to drive me all the way home
I'm pretty sure I can walk from here.

Oh mmy walk home I wonder where you'll go
will you go directly home or go out to get something to eat
If I said it didn't bother me I'd be lying.
Like a crushed can underneath one of 18 tires

If i crawled into one of these giant tires
and hitched a ride to get a thousand miles away
Don't expect to hear from me anytime soon
Don't expect to hear from me anytime sooooooooooooooooooooon.