Peanut butter

My boss hates peanut butter. She says she eats it once a year. I love peanut butter. If I ate it everyday, I wouldn't be surprised. I love real peanut butter, chunky peanut butter, smooth peanut butter, artificial peanut butter. It's all peanut butter to me. Now, my boss's husband did not catch on that his wife does not like peanut butter. He packs her lunch everyday and once in a while he put in a peanut butter bar or peanut butter crackers. Instead of returning them, my boss instead gives these treats to me. Maybe that is why my boss's husband keeps packing peanut butter snacks for his wife. I'm not complaining.

Peanut butter apparently is having a rough week. With the whole salomenella thing. I'm not sure how to spell salomenella but it isn't my fault...I don't know much about it to be honest. However, part of me thinks I have it 95% of the time. Anyway, ever since the news was reported about the bad peanut butter, I have noticed that coincidentally my peanut butter intake has increased. I can't stop eating it. Peanut butter is good. Salomenella is possibly not so good.

So I was talking to Greg (Wooter) this morning via the internet, a dell computer and connected keyboard, (wooter on a ibm thinkcentere), and I asked him what's so bad about salomennela. What does it even do to you? Wooter basically just said, it makes shit and puke a lot. That got me thinking...I definitely have had salomenella before.

I was living in Dhestor (names of towns and people will be altered to protect people's identities for the rest of this blogger) and my next door neighbor was Kason and his wife Cabbette. Kason was a cool dude, who once bought my urine for 50 buckets and strapped it to his body with some contraption he ordered through High Times magazine so he wouldn't fail a drug test. It was absurd. Anyway, Kason, or Kay, was having a barbeque out back and drinking some beers and asked if I wanted to go hang out. I did like beer, so I brought out a 6 pack of my own (probably Rolling Rock) and I started the routine of opening bottles, drinking the bottle's contents, and then discarding the bottle into a garbage can. Pretty soon I found myself getting buzzed and I decided to try some of the barbeque. I ate some bbq ribs and I felt that they weren't cooked all the way through. This made me try to eat more of them. Before I knew it I hadn't eaten a whole lot of uncooked meat and it was ten o'clock at night and we were at someone else's apartment. I think it was Crian's apartment. Crian was a bartender sometimes, motorcycle rider allthe times, and he had just gotten back from some European adventure and he pulled out this mysterious bottle of Absynthe from his liquor cabinet (cereal cabinet). After assuring us that this was the real deal Absynthe, he started pouring shots. I think I only did one or two shots when I realized I was pretty hammered. I may or may not have done more. The rest of the night was a blur, I probably fell asleep in my refrigerator and eventually it was morning. I woke up feeling really awful.

That's when I felt I had to puke. I ran to the bathroom and vommitted my face off. After puking I felt good for about three minutes when I felt the other end of me having to say something. I quickly sat on the toilet. Half way through having (not taking) a shit, I realized I had to vommit again. I didn't know it was possible. I kept switching for a solid 20 minutes and then I laid on my moldy bathmat as soon as the pain had ended. After a half hour, the nonsense began again and I shit/puked myself dry for the next 24 hours.

Until today I blamed it on the Absynthe because that stuff supposedly messes you up. Greg (Wooter) made me think back and realize that it wasn't the absynthe at all, it was just a crappy batch of peanut butter.